THE ABSENT-MINDED SPOUSE

THE ABSENT-MINDED SPOUSE

We noticed that of late, we have been getting a lot more forgetful. A sudden doubt — "Did I turn off the gas?" or "Did you see me pulling out the plug of the electric iron? or "Did I latch the back door?"? — would send us scurrying back home, abandoning the trip to wherever we were headed for.

A friend who came to know about this in a casual talk, gave us a tip: whatever you do, do it consciously. For instance, tell yourself, "I am having my pill for hypertension" so that you don't pop two pills instead of one and send your blood pressure to near-death levels. It does work!

"Also," he had said, "keep notes to act as reminders so that you don't forget what to do." We do this religiously though we often forget where on earth the damn aide de memoire was kept!

The other day I was having a drink. I settled down on my favorite chair with a book. A little later, I asked my wife to get me a bowl of roasted groundnuts to munch. "You might want to write it down," I said.

"No, I can remember that you want a bowl of groundnuts," she replied.

"ROASTED groundnuts," I reminded. "With some finely chopped green chilli, tomato and onion, if you please," I added, putting on my best manners. "Write it down," I told her, and again she said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of roasted groundnuts with some finely chopped green chilli, tomato and onion."

As she walked towards the pantry, I told her, "Squeeze half a lemon if you have. Write it down so that you don't forget."

She did not stop, but replied reassuringly, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of a bowl of roasted groundnuts with some finely chopped green chilli, tomato and onion, with half a lemon squeezed."

As I leafed through "The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity" by Carlo M Cipolla, I heard some noises in the background - spoon falling, mixie whirring and stuff, but thought she must be cooking dinner.

About ten minutes passed. She emerged from the kitchen and handed over to me a plate. I stared at the plate for a moment. It had a fluffy golden omelette, a tiny bowl of tomato ketchup and a fork and a knife.

I just can't understand why she brought me all this stuff while I had been waiting for the iPad I had asked her to fetch from the study!