Saturday, November 13, 2010

FUN IN FIVE LINES

Kaushik Chatterjee, you made my day*! The good words you wrote about my post "What do you want to be when you grow up?" cheered me no end. A good turn deserves another and I dedicate this post on limericks, with great affection, to Kaushik.

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Bland or bawdy, clean or raunchy, prim or rib tickling, ditties and doggerels are great fun. Anyone can recite one. Don't believe me? Hickory, dickory, dock. Little Jack Horner sat in a corner.

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A limerick is a couplet (the third and fourth lines) sandwiched within a triplet (the first, second and the fifth lines). The lines in the couplet rhyme and have six beats; so do those in the triplet which have nine beats. The anapaestic rhythm – two short and one long beat – is what gives it the swing.

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Classical poetry in Sanskrit and most Indian languages is all about cadences and rhythms, the long and short; so I feel comfortable with verse forms that demand strict adherence to meter.

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The best limericks should rhyme (and delight the reader by innovative rhyming solutions, if somewhat contrived) and like the O’Henry stories, have a surprise ending. If the punch comes too early of the climax can be anticipated before it is reached, half the fun is lost. Verbal felicity, metrical perfection and a quick turn of wit – and you’re done!

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I always enjoyed limericks. A limerick is a simple narration of events in five lines of verse. Often, the first line sets the scene and gives us the main character. The rest are narration, and the fifth line is the punchline. There is something about the meter that begs for irreverence and wordplay. It is almost as if irreverence is a prerequisite. It seems indeed impossible to write a limerick without approaching the indelicate. Why, it may be asked, should anyone want to write such an indecorous form of verse as the limerick?

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The word ‘limerick’ is supposed to have entered the Oxford English Dictionary in 1898, defined as a 'form of indecent nonsense verse' and seems to have nothing to do with the small town Limerick in Ireland or its doppelganger in Pennsylvania.

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We’ll start with some limericks about limericks.

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An anonymous writer describes limericks thus:

The limerick packs jokes anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I’ve seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

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Conrad Aitken describes a limerick thus:

The limerick’s, admitted, a verse form:

A terse form: a curse form: a hearse form.

It may not be lyric

And at best it’s satyric

And a whale of a tail in perverse form.

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There’s a warning in this one by Morris Bishop, that great master of contemporary limerick:

The limerick is furtive and mean;

You must keep her in close quarantine,

Or she sneaks to the slums

And promptly becomes

Disorderly, drunk and obscene.

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Just one more:

The limerick’s an art form complex

Whose contents run chiefly to sex;

It’s famous for virgins

And masculine urgin’s

And vulgar erotic effects.

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Limericks aren't just funny or bawdy. They reflect times and mores. They reflect the social climate and point to changes that are crying out for attention; they comment on issues. Limericks are insidious. You always have an apposite limerick to quote. But there are always prudes, and limericks take potshots at them. Predictably, several of the bawdy limericks are about women and therefore it should not come as a surprise that most women loathe limericks. Gershon Legman attributed it to ‘the same reason that calves hate cookbooks’.

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Yet, this normally frivolous and often immoral form of verse can be amazingly highbrow at times. Like this one composed by Prof Harvey L Carter:

’Tis a favourite project of mine

A new value of π to assign.

I would fix it at 3

For, it’s simpler, you see,

Than 3 point 14159.

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Or very clever, like this one:

. She frowned and called him Mr.

Because in sport he kr.

And so in spite

That very night

This Mr. kr. sr.

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Innovative people have devised variations like the six-line limerick, for instance:

There was a young fellow named Skinner

Who took a young lady to dinner;

At half past nine

They sat down to dine,

And by quarter to ten it was in her.

What? Dinner? No, Skinner!

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And those whom the Muse did not quite oblige and could not compose the aabba did not give up without a fight.

There was a fat lady from Eye

Who felt she was likely to die

But for fear that once dead

She would not be well-fed,

She gulped down a pig, a cow, a sheep, twelve buns, a seven-layer cake, four cups coffee and a green apple pie.

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Everyone, of course, could not make such a valiant effort at rhyming and succeed. Their memory in enshrined in:

The limerick, peculiar to English,

Is a verse form that’s hard to extinguish.

Once the Congress in session

Decreed its suppression

But people got around it by writing the last line without any rhyme or meter.

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A less-known fact is that P G Wodehouse wrote a limerick, one of my favourites, but it was in prose: it was about the 'young man called Grover, who bowled twenty-two wides in an over; (which had never been done, by a clergyman's son), on a Thursday in August in Dover.'



PS: Murphy's Limerick Law I define:
You've decided your limerick's divine...
Since it can't be improved
To your web site it's moved —
Then you think of a much better line!





* I started writing this some time in March 2010 but finished it only today!

Hungry Kya? (... For Holidays)

One morning early March this year, I woke up from a dream: Manmohan Singh had announced that a developing nation like ours just cannot afford to have the number of holidays that we now enjoy. He had replaced the existing arrangement with a fresh one and issued a government order rationalizing holidays. The whole army of employees in the public and the private sector (In other words, organized working class) was up in arms against it.

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The new dispensation said that apart from the weekly holidays and the national holidays, there would be no other holiday. A hundred days (yes, a hundred!) had been declared as restricted holidays and an employee may use any ten of them. There is no cut in the leave the service conditions provide for, for personal reasons and rest and recuperation, and sickness.

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Our friends indeed have a reason to protest. Right now, Ashraf and Dinesh Menon and Tejinder Singh and Joseph have holidays on account of Guru Purnima and Good Friday and Onam and Makar Sankranti. The holidays declared to mourn the demise of leaders come as a bonus.

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With a steaming cuppa in hand, I open the newspaper. A letter, apparently from a group of bank employees, leaps to my eyes. It contains a request to declare the 3rd March this year a holiday for banks, like several other establishments. What is special about the date? Attukaal Ponkaala is performed on that day.

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True, devotees hold up traffic in a major part of the capital of Kerala for twenty-four hours from the previous evening, rendering movement from one point to another extremely difficult. True, schools are given a day’s holiday and some government offices are let off a couple of hours earlier than usual. And so are banks, one hears.

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The authors of the letter certainly know that a holiday for banks can be declared only under the Negotiable Instruments Act and would ordinarily cover the entire State. Imagine the entire state enjoying a holiday because of a festival in a temple in one corner of a city!

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Once ceded, other religious groups too will assert their right for a holiday on the days festivals are held in their places of worship. Our politicos will lose no time in allowing this in their bid to appease them and to deny the opponents a chance to champion their cause and gain access to that vote-bank.

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This will certainly give rise to similar demands from other centres. And sooner than later, we will have more holidays than working days! Can we not have enough of holidays?

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And about the practice of declaring a day’s holiday to mourn the demise of leaders, the less, said the better. It is mostly an opportunity for great rejoice because of the holiday it provides. It is only if the death occurs during a weekend that it is really mourned, because the chance for a holiday is lost!

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Let Dinesh Menon, Ashraf, Joseph and Tejinder Singh take a day’s off on whichever ten days out of the 100 restricted holidays they choose. This is not to say that Ashraf cannot take a day’s off on account of Guru Purnima, Menon cannot have a day off on Good Friday or Tejinder on Onam day or, for that matter, Joseph on Makar Sankranti day. The employees can thus celebrate the festival of their choice and the users of the public services can get their work done on any working day (including a restricted holiday).

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That would be a far cry from now, but then, will it happen? Even the most optimistic wakes up from that dream because the powers-that-be want to keep the vote-bank happy – to hell with productivity and progress!

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Friday, November 12, 2010

WHO IS AN INDIAN?

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not speak the language I do.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not know the words of the songs I sing.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not worship the gods I do.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not say the prayers I say.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not go to the same place of worship as I do.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one whose pilgrimages are different from mine.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not think the way I do.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not eat the food I relish.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not go to the same place of worship as I do.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not know the steps of my dance.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not read the book I read.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not tell his children the stories I tell my children.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one whose festivals are not the same as mine.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one whose wife does not use the cooking oil my wife uses.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one whose children are not rocked to sleep with the same lullabies as mine.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who does not dispose of his father’s corpse the way I do mine.

Who is an Indian? An Indian is one who would not be seen dead in the clothes I wear.

Who is an Indian?

An Indian is one who tells me he is an Indian.

(Based on the reply given by Mani Shankar Aiyar to a member of the audience at the Hay Festival in Trivandrum on the 12th November 2010)

PS I confess that this exposition moved me to tears.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

WRITER'S BLOCK

A friend called me up the other day and asked me why there have been no new posts on my blog for over three months. He said he has been disappointed every time he has accessed my blog, hoping for a new post. Ain’t I flattered?

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On a more serious note, what really has happened to me? Time was when I had posted two entries on my blog on the same day and now here I am, with no posts for months on end!

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It is not that I don't have the time. Nor that I have run out of ideas. I have a clear idea of things I want to write about, but the tendency to postpone the writing overtakes me. It is easy to find excuses for the procrastination. In summer, it’s too hot. How can anyone write in this sweltering heat? Let the showers cool the atmosphere. Once it starts raining, I ask myself: what’s the great hurry? Let’s celebrate the pitter-patter of this languorous rain, the chill in the air. Let the overcast sky clear up.

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When you think this is the right time, there are visitors, festivals, elections, commonwealth games, scams, terrorist attacks, … You need solitude. And when you have that, you feel the loneliness oppressive.

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It’s quite some time I started writing, but even now as I sit down to write, I am as nervous and tentative as a school student in the examination hall. A few paragraphs into a post, and I abandon the project. After a few days, I give it up as a bad job and start a fresh one. There are a dozen such half-written pieces in my computer. I have not erased them in the hope that some day I may be able to have my aha! moment, having been able to finish it.

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If writing was fun in the early days, it is not so anymore. Is this what they call writer’s block?

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Not-so-hidden Persuader

Comedian Luca Rizo, a fair-skinned performer from northern Italy, once started his routine at the San Remo Music Festival – Italy's most watched television programme – with a joke about Benetton. He complained aloud that he had had a tough day. ‘I came home unexpectedly early and caught my wife in bed, making love to a black man and an Asian man at the same time!’ Rizo exclaimed. An accomplice in the audience shouted out: ‘What did you do about it?’ ‘Oh,’ Rizo said, nonchalantly, ‘I took a photograph and sent it to Benetton ... you never know, right?’
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A joke like that would be lost on someone clueless about the advertising campaign of Benetton. And for those who are familiar with the consistently irreverent campaign, it needs no explanation.

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It is no mean achievement for the ad campaign of a clothing company to generate a joke capable of being understood and enjoyed by a whole generation. And that is exactly what Oliviero Toscani , the mind behind the controversial ad campaigns of Italian clothing maker Benetton for eighteen years from 1982, succeeded in.
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The ads that Toscani created in the initial years for Benetton were tame by any standard. His first campaign for Benetton in 1982 used teddy bears (Wasn’t that predictable!) to model the children's clothing line. The next several campaigns were equally forgettable. But soon enough, he started being provocative in an effort to make a memorable impact with the campaign.

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By 1984, the campaign had already started turning political with the ‘All Colors of the World’ theme that focused on young people of different races wearing the company's clothing. It was the first time such a multicultural group appeared together in such a positive light in an Italian advertising. But Toscani was just getting started.

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In 1990, he launched the ‘United Colors of Benetton’ campaign which tied in well with the depiction of white and black people (and animals) in striking situations. The campaign consisted of a series of jarring and controversial ads that the man and the company became known for. It is hard to justify some of the themes except that they all reflect the conscience of photographer Oliviero Toscani. How else could you connect a garment manufactured and a priest kissing a nun; or a bloody baby fresh from the womb; or a black stallion mounting a white mare; or a colorful mix of condoms spread over a bright background; or a white infant suckling a black woman's breast; or the exposed pulsing hearts of three different races or the body of an AIDS victim moments before death; or the frightened refugees clawing for food at a ship's cargo net; or the bloody uniform of a dead Bosnian soldier.

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It is clear that Toscani went straight for the jugular, period. And the ads grabbed attention. Which is what they’re supposed to do. Due credit must, however, go to Luciano Benetton who allowed Toscani a free rein to use the company's massive advertising budget imaginatively, confronting the public with difficult issues. Each topic provoked debate and usually some limited protest, all the while raising awareness of the Benetton brand.

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Many labelled Toscani's work as seeking to shock merely for the sake of shocking. Indeed, since 1990, no Benetton product even made an appearance in a significant ad campaign, and yet the company's style and logo became etched into consumers' minds. Toscani, in his life and in his work, seemed to enjoy making people feel uncomfortable - whether friends, politicians, corporate heavyweights, or potential customers. That was a charge the creative relished.

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Benetton and Toscani were a classic marriage that is far better than the sum of its two parts. Toscani was a fund of talent and Benetton had its niche in the clothing world. Together, they were formidable. And they were no strangers to controversy around their ad campaigns.

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Toscani will probably be best remembered for the headline-grabbing campaign based on photos and information about some 26 death row inmates from six US states. The ‘We, On Death Row’ campaign was aimed at drawing the world’s attention to the controversy surrounding the use of capital punishment in the US, where support for the death penalty is as unequivocal as opposition to it is in Italy. The campaign featured close-up portraits of convicted killers. The photos are stamped with the words ‘Sentenced to Death’ or ‘We, on Death Row’ along with the small green Benetton logo.
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The campaign stirred up a storm of controversy: the state of Missouri sued Toscani and Benetton for misrepresenting themselves while interviewing four death row inmates in that state. Protests from uneasy consumers and from the families of the inmates' victims prompted retailing giant Sears, Roebuck & Co., to unceremoniously drop the profitable Benetton line. That hit the company where it hurt – its bottom line.
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The Missouri lawsuit was settled when Benetton agreed to write letters of apology to the four Missouri families whose relatives had been murdered by the inmates in the ads. The company also donated $50,000 to the Missouri Crime Victims Compensation Fund. The official line from the company is that it stands by the campaign but regrets causing pain to the families involved.

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In the opinion of the unrepentant Toscani who had earned a reputation for both arrogance and drama, the ‘We, on the Death Row’ was his best work during his long tenure at Benetton. ‘Most ads are forgotten immediately, and even good ads are forgotten after six months,’ he would say. ‘Ten years after the ad, if people still remember it, that's immortality!’

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Even as the campaign faded from the public consciousness and became a chapter in advertising history, a satisfied Toscani had no regrets. ‘How can I feel regret toward something that increased the visibility of an important topic, of the company involved, and of myself?’ he asked.

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The divergent stand taken by the unapologetic Toscani and the contrite Benetton spelt the end of the partnership. Quite like the parting of ways of Benetton and Sears, Roebuck & Co. debilitated the toplines of both, Benetton and Toscani had to pay the price for the ‘divorce’ – and the advertising world was rendered poorer.
- Facts and images courtesy internet and websites