tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296067152024-03-13T20:05:16.145-07:00wannabewodehouseHow do I describe myself? I aspire to be one who can laugh at life and make others do the same thing!wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.comBlogger229125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-42700243456021198662023-04-28T01:29:00.001-07:002023-04-28T08:04:34.593-07:00THE WEDDING SUIT<p> </p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">Vijay Khanna is a good conversationalist. It is fun to spend an evening with him if good company is in attendance. Sipping the golden liquid that restores the jangled nerves, he would regale vou with hilarious real-life stories. </span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">That evening, Khanna was reminiscing about his early days in an institution that he later headed. He was posted in a factory in a north Indian state. The industrial township had hardly any scope for entertainment other than the film show in the factory club on a 16 mm screen on Saturday evenings. If you had watched the films for a year, you had seen them all, for the same fifty movies were recycled. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">It was, therefore, not surprising that the middle-level executives of the company looked for other diversions. What could be better than a get-together of a small group of close friends?</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">Over time, a pattern emerged: they would gather at the house of one of them. Often, the conversation would be reduced to talking shop. In order that it did not happen, it was decided that every time anyone of those present talked shop, he would be fined the princely sum of a rupee.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">The money thus collected would go into a piggy bank fashioned out of a small earthen pot, which they nicknamed 'beer-belly'. When full, it would be used to fund the get-together where ultimately beer would flow. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">Year 1972. It was winter. That Saturday evening, they had met in the house of Dibyendu Chatterjee and his wife, Debjani. Dibyendu had a guest staying with him: Kumar, Debjani's brother. The country head of a large multinational corporation, Kumar talked with a clipped accent. Nattily dressed, not a strand of hair out of place, spit-and-polished pointed shoes, a scarf in a shade of rich burgundy around his neck, he was fashion personified.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">The conversation that evening inevitably drifted to men's fashion: how solid colours and bold checks had replaced pastels and subtle stripes in shirts, and how complementing shirts and jackets had given way to contrasting combinations. Casual shirts had, at different times, sported dog collars. long collars, pointed collars, short collars, and no collars. Over the decades, the trousers had changed from drainpipes to bell-bottoms to parallels and the lapels of coats had shrunk and become broad.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">Chatterjee, our host for that evening, was a soft-spoken man. Suddenly, he asked, "Would you like to see my wedding suit?" He was on the wrong side of 40 and his only daughter was about 13. Which meant the suit would be about 15 years old, Khanna estimated. Was it double-breasted with side-slits? Or was it a solid ink blue or one with bold stripes? Were the lapels broad or narrow? Everybody was eager to see what had been fashionable in, say, the late 50's or the early 60's.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">Encouraged by the overwhelming response. Dibyendu went into the house. It was strange, Khanna noticed, that he went towards the kitchen instead of where the wardrobe would be. He soon he emerged and called out to Debjani.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">As soon as she went in, an argument in muffled voices and sounds of a minor scuffle could be heard. Apparently, the wife surrendered after the initial resistance for Dibyendu re-emerged, ending the speculation on the reason for the domestic strife. He had a large, shining dekchi (cooking pot) in his hands.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">Debjani had exchanged the wedding suit — which the now portly fame of the lanky young man she had married could not get into — for the kitchen utensil from the bartanwala (vendor of vessels on barter terms, a common sight those days). This confirmed Khanna's vague feeling that one morning he had overheard Chatterjee sitting at the next table in the office on the telephone, talking in an agitated tone to someone about a bartanwala.</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-33905395438811469732023-04-19T05:48:00.000-07:002023-04-19T05:48:17.649-07:00A COCK AND BULL STORY<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: courier;">The intercom buzzed. It was my secretary.</span></span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Sir, Dr Dave Greywall is on the line. He wants to discuss his project with you. Shall I give him the appointment on Monday afternoon?"</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Greywall who?" (Did I sound like Lord Elmsworth?)</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"The man from Sydney, sir. He had written a month back that he would like to meet you during his next visit to India." </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Of course, I remember," I said, adding, "Okay, 3:30 on Monday is fine."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Moments later, he was back on the line. "Sir, he would like to have a word with you."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Fine, connect me to him," I replied.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">The heavy voice at the other end had a distinct Australian accent. "Mr KT, I will need about half an hour on Mon-die. I have a short presentation."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">***</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">It would be an understatement to say that when Dr Greywall was ushered in on Mon-die, I was intrigued. I had expected a fair-complexioned Aussie, but seated before me was a Sardarji. Tastefully attired, he wore a natty suit and a turban that matched his shirt. He had a neatly trimmed salt-and-pepper beard.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Sensing my consternation, he said, "When I went abroad for higher studies, I was Devinder Singh Garewal. I was addressed as Dave by my classmates and friends. So I modified my name to Dave S Greywall."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">That was an interesting ice-breaker. He narrated the story of his life. Born in Lalru near Zirakpur between Ambala and Chandigarh on the Grand Trunk Road, he had lost both parents in early childhood. It was his uncle who brought him up. After his schooling, he studied animal science in Deakins University, Victoria in Australia and went on to earn a Ph D.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Then he worked for large dairies including Dairy Australia in senior positions. In 1990, the entrepreneurial bug bit him: he planned to return to homeland to set up a beef plant in his village where he had a 42-acre inherited farmland. For some reason, he had to abandon that. He had revisited the project now and made it a chicken plant instead.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Then he opened his bag and took out his laptop (the first laptop I saw in my life, I must add). He began his presentation. That he had done his homework was obvious. The professional endeavour was rich in illustrations, tables, schematic diagrams and graphics and the idea was easy to grasp.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">The first part was on the table chicken market in India and upper India in particular. (Again a first: till then, I had thought that hens that stopped laying eggs would land up on the dining table; I did not know that there are table breeds and laying breeds.)</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Part 2 covered his project. The entire process was automatic. Live chicken would be fed into the 'receiver cubicle' and at the other end of the 'carousel', you could pick up neat shrink-wrapped packets of different parts — drumsticks, breast and wings. Workers had only to weigh and label the packets.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"How about waste disposal?" I could not contain my curiosity.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"I'm coming to that, sirree," Greywall said. "Part 3 covers that and 4 is what you are interested in — the financials, profitability and repayment.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"For every 10 broilers, 3 pounds of feathers are produced. The keratin in the feathers can be used in the production of diapers, pillows, insulation, upholstery etc. One of the byproducts is the 'feather meal' produced by a high-pressure, </span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">steam-processing method similar to autoclaving, followed by drying. The heat and the steam hydrolyze the feathers into a cysteine-rich, high protein product that is 60% digestible. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Also, researchers have developed a viable method to convert heads, feet, and viscera which contain 10-15% and blood meal which contains 60-80% of proteins into granules."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Instead of taking me though part 4, he gave me a spiral-bound project report, saying, "I do not want to venture into uncharted territory by explaining what my accountant has prepared. You could go through this at leisure." </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"The tea is getting cold," I pointed to the cup he had put way when he was half way through the presentation.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">While sipping it, he told me, "I am staying back tonight in Patiala. Can we meeting the evening? Rajindra Club. 7 pm."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">***</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Dr Greywall was a good racounteur, I discovered. And he was getting better in direct proportion to the quantity of the amber liquid he imbibed.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">That evening I asked him, "Dr Greywall, why was the beef project shelved? Religious reasons? Protest from the public?"</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Oh, that?" he asked. "Good you asked me. There is an interesting story behind it, though it set me back by half a million bucks. The process and the machinery were similar to what you saw — only they were much bigger because cattle are bigger than fowls," he guffawed.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"My consultant suggested that instead of importing the machinery at high cost, I could take a specimen to Melbourne and see how the machinery works. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"That made eminent sense. What if I found that the machinery imported was unsuited? So I did exactly that. I brought a cow from India by ship — with a 'gwala' to feed it and look after it during the long voyage.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"The animal was mounted on what is called the 'tablet'. In chamber 1, it would be beheaded; in 2, skinned,..."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">I stopped him. "Spare me the gory details, please, Dr Greywall!"</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">"Okye, to cut a long story short, we walked to the other end of the chain for the neat little cellophane packets of tenderloin, chuck, brisket, round, sirloin, rump and flank, not to speak of the tanned cowhide and protein granules."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: courier;">Twenty minutes later, the cow walked out! Turns out that the Indian animal was too small for the machinery built for their Australian counterparts.</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-75218161692669882782022-11-03T06:22:00.001-07:002022-11-03T06:22:18.861-07:00THE STORY OF A WHATSAPP GROUP<p> </p><p><br /></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><div class="x1n2onr6" id="jsc_c_54y" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;"><div class="x1n2onr6" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;"><div style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="x9f619 x1lliihq x4uap5 xkhd6sd" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px;"><div class="x182zwpg x11jkl0l x10wlt62 x6ikm8r x9jhf4c x30kzoy xgqcy7u x1lq5wgf x1rr5fae xdppsyt xkbpzyx x1n2xptk" style="border-bottom: 1px solid var(--divider); border-left: 1px solid var(--divider); border-radius: 8px; border-right: 1px solid var(--divider); border-top: 1px solid var(--divider); font-family: inherit; margin-left: 13px; margin-right: 13px; overflow: hidden;"><div class="" style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="xsag5q8" dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; padding-bottom: 12px;"><div class="" dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="x1iorvi4 x1pi30zi x1swvt13 xjkvuk6" data-ad-comet-preview="message" data-ad-preview="message" style="font-family: inherit; padding: 4px 16px;"><div class="x78zum5 xdt5ytf xz62fqu x16ldp7u" style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: -5px; margin-top: -5px;"><div class="xu06os2 x1ok221b" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto" style="color: var(--primary-text); display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0.9375rem; line-height: 1.3333; max-width: 100%; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word;"><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It was in the early days of WhatsApp that the a few classmates belonging to the batch of 1975 decided to form a WhatsApp group called the Old Boy's Association (OBA). In the first week, there were only six members, but soon word spread and the number swelled to thirty. And then the students of the other divisions were admitted. It was just a matter of weeks that the number crossed two digits. Encouraged, the admin threw open the forum to all the <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>alumni of the school. They were all strung together by the common thread of the alma mater. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">By the time I joined the group, it already had more than three hundred members from as far away as the US in the west and Japan in the east, but predictably, the majority was India-based. Members</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">belonged to different generations: while I was from the batch of 1961, I learnt from the profiles that some were decades senior to me and some were as recent as 2019.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The camaraderie of the members and the good cheer that they spread had to be seen to be believed. One did not mind the fact that one had to earmark a chunk of one's leisure hours to delete the inevitable good morning and good night messages, birthday greetings (though merely a crisp HBD in many cases) and anniversary wishes. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">They shared stories of the pranks they played in and out of the school campus, posted some old group photos and referred to teachers by their nicknames. Many wrote nostalgically about their teenage crushes and rued the fact that they were destined to grow up. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Soon, there was an issue: there was a disconnect when the seniors went through the posts of juniors as they could not even understand the lingo some of them used. Likewise, the juniors could not enjoy the dialogue between two seniors as the topics discussed and the personalities featured had retired long before. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So the admin found it expedient to form a few subgroups: OBA 1940s, OBA 1950s, OBA 1960s and so on till OBA 2010s, the number denoting the decade in which one left the school. Thus I belong to the OBA 1960s group. Obviously, the OBA 1940s and the OBA 1950s groups were small compared to the others and the 2010s was the largest — and most vibrant. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Inevitably, sooner than later, people got fed up regurgitating old tales and started looking for new stuff. They shared jokes and cartoons, news clippings and forwards, memes and trolls, videos and songs. Though not related to the school days, they were interesting nevertheless. Motivational talks, health-related articles, advice on wealth management too made frequent appearance. The traffic in the group became dense, with devotional songs and talks by religious leaders, patriotic slogans and political pieces becoming regular fare. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Some members opined that as everyone may not be interested in all these, it is not fair to burden EVERYONE with ALL posts. The admins (by then, there was a team of admins instead of one) formed a few new groups dedicated to different areas — OBA Music, OBA Health, OBA Jokes, OBA Religion, OBA Politics, OBA Literature, OBA Wealth, etc. One was free to join multiple groups depending on one's interest, but cross-posts (Homoeopathy posts in, say, OBA Literature, for instance) were a strict no-no. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But then there was a problem: those who enjoy Semmangudi and Amjad Ali Khan found it difficult to co-exist with fans of Metallica and Pink Floyd. Votaries of vegan food could not stomach the recipes of Mutton Yakni and devilled venison. The puritans among the book-loving community found discussions on some works by certain authors distasteful. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The admins were up against a wall. The problem that the members were facing was genuine and serious. So the roped in some volunteers from different interest-groups to act as admins of new groups formed for the different segments. At the last count, OBA had 127 groups, some representational names being OBA 1980s, OBA Ghazals, OBA BeeGees, OBA Yunani, OBA Trinamool, OBA Harry Potter, OBA Dark humour, OBA Hrithik Roshan, OBA Bobanum Molleyum, OBA Nihilism, OBA CPM, OBA Bailey's Irish Cream, OBA Tintin, OBA Porn, OBA Theosophy, OBA Harley Davidson, OBA Indore Gharaana, OBA Space Science, OBA UPSC Exams and OBA Kosher food. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">This works! I am a member of only eleven of them which hold my interest.</div></div></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-69428821686297194512022-11-03T06:19:00.005-07:002022-11-03T06:19:52.902-07:00MEMORIES TRIGGERED<p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday a friend and I were playing a game of Scrabble. At some stage in the game, my rack had what I thought was a bingo-friendly combination: AGIINP and a blank. I could make PAI(R)ING but it was a "non-go" (the Scrabble player's jargon for a Bingo on the rack that encounters a no-go on the board. Or PAI(N)ING.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I wished I had <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>an S in place of the second I in which case the possibilities seemed endless: SPA(C)ING, S(C)APING, SPA(R)ING, (R)ASPING, S(H)APING, P(H)ASING, PAS(S)ING, PAS(T)ING. PA(R)SING, SAP(P)ING, (L)APSING, GASPIN(G) — and many more. Buy then, as in life, so in Scrabble. I philosophised: you don't get everything you want.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That was when the word PIGNOLIA flashed in my mind. Not a common word, I agree. Like almonds or cashew nut, this edible nut of a pine tree is used in confections. I could make the word using the floating 'O' of the OVARY on the board. I did exactly that and scored a hefty 78 points.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Now, though I had come across this word in 1957 — that is, a good six decades and a half back — I was using this word for the first time in my life and in my Scrabble journey. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I was in Class VII in the MCCHS (Malabar Christian College High School) in what was then called Calicut. Our class teacher was Mr VM Easow who taught us English and mathematics. The strong foundation he laid in these subjects is what I built upon. Equally, if not more importantly, I cherish the values "Easow-Maash" taught us.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Easow-Maash had an impeccable handwriting, whether he wrote on the blackboard or on paper. A typical foolscap (NOT fullscape, he would repeat) sheet with his writing would have thirty lines — no more, no less — (I can see Easow-Maash frowning that I did not use the correct "no fewer") and no over-writings, no corrections and no ersures.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The last periods on Fridays were allotted to the class teacher. Easow-Maash used it for personal interaction with the students and overall development: elocution, recitation, quiz, etc. On days when the weather permitted, we would venture out: he would take us to the college playground. Though his house was on a plot adjoining the playground, instead of going home at the end of the period, he would walk us back to the class and leave the school only after the long bell goes.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">On one of those Fridays, Easow-Maash took us to the beach. We picked up seashells and pebbles and made sand-pits and sand-castles. Some who had gone to the shaded area of casuarina trees came back with their pockets full of its seeds with spikes. That was when Easow-Maash told us about acorns and pignolia, the seeds of pine trees.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A strict disciplinarian, he always carried a slender cane while in school. After entering the class, he would place carefully place on the table, making sure that everyone saw it. I don't however recall a single instance when Easow-Maash wielded the cane, though! A frown, a stare, an angry glare — and the most recalcitrant brat would cower and submit.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The stern-faced teacher had a impishly humorous facet too. The proverb which goes something like:</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"The greatest oak</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Was once a tiny nut</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That held its ground."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">was paraphrased by Easow-Maash as:</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"The mighty oak</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Was once a little acorn; </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And the tallest yew</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A nut like you!"</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He would tweak the children's rhyme</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Under the spreading chestnut tree</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">There we sit, both you and me.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, how happy we will be!</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Under the spreading chestnut tree." </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">to </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Under the spreading chestnut tree</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I sold you and you sold me.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, how happy we will be!</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Under the spreading chestnut tree."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(Mind you, this was long before horse-trading and resort-politics had acquired the currency and the legitimacy they enjoy today!)</div></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Tailpiece: Even after placing PIGNOLIA, I lost!</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-86026111863866241772022-11-03T05:20:00.003-07:002022-11-03T05:20:41.100-07:00TRUE TO TYPE<p> </p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A friend of mine has put up an interesting post on stenography and dictating letters. There he has also narrated the evolution of the machines he used: from his father's old Remington manual typewriter whose keys he punched when he started out, to the feather-touch keyboard of the laptop he uses now. The journey has had several pit-stops where he used different variants: the clunky machine in the neighborhood typewriting institute, Olivetti manual, Brother <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>electric and electronic typewriters, word-processors and now computers with the user-friendly speech-to-text feature.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That is the story of my life too, except that it was an Underwood instead of a Remington. And the typewriting institute bit — I did not attend one because there was none in the village I lived in. That lack of education shows: I still use my right middle finger for all the typing that I do and my left thumb for the "capital shift". I can clock a speed of 30 words per minute and though I cannot boast of a six-sigma level, my output is generally error-free. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">These days I rely a lot on the speech-to-text feature both in English and Malayalam and have attained about 90% accuracy. The problem is that I have to be on the lookout for the gaffes like FACE for PHASE (and vice versa) and "The penis mightier than the sword."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I was in my early twenties when I had my first stenographer (That does sound pompous! He was actually the only one in the department I was attached to and, truth to tell, was shared by the three officers senior to me; I only tagged along!) Shesha Iyer (Swamy to everyone), the epitome of competence in his chosen field, had barely one year to retire. Having been with the organisation for thirty-seven long years, he was a fantastic resource person.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One of my bosses who was not too good at dictation often used to feel the urge to use the services of a stenographer, if only for ramping up his self-esteem. He would call Shesha Iyer, start dictating the letter number, date, addressee, salutation, subject line and after "With reference to your letter number (reading it aloud from the file) dated (again reading it aloud), comma, we have to advise as under, colon."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After this elaborate introduction, he would look up from the file and sit back in the swivel chair. He would then close the file and hand it over to the amanuensis with the words, "Swamy, you know what I have in mind. Please bring the draft reply." And Swami would do exactly that: an appropriate and correctly-worded reply would be on the boss' table in fewer than thirty minutes.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But I have digressed, for, I wanted to relate my experience with Shesha Iyer. Being a rookie, I would, at times, get stuck for the right word. From the context, he would guess what I had mind and supply me with the right phrase or word. The unsolicited, though welcome, input would interrupt the flow of my thought. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After a couple of such interventions, temporarily abandoning my usual respect for the grey hair and the bald pate, I asked him, "Swamy, are you, or am I, the one dictating the letter?"</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-53877166290106632172022-11-03T05:18:00.001-07:002022-11-03T05:18:07.096-07:00THE BALLS OF A BRASS MONKEY<p> </p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Haven't you come across the expression: "It was so cold that it would freeze the balls of a brass monkey"? I have always wondered where this strange, if slightly profane, expression came from. And what does it have to do with a monkey of whichever material?</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I am told it comes from the naval profession. A munkey (also spelt monkey) was a kind of gun made of brass (or iron in some cases) used in war-ships. The cannon balls (made of iron) for use in the <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>gun would be placed on a dimpled brass plate on the deck of a war-ship.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">As the small amount of seawater held in place by capillary action at the contact point of two balls freezes on a particularly cold day, it pushes the balls apart. This will make the stack of balls less stable, making the once at the edges fall. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Even if seawater did not intervene, given the coefficients of expansion of iron and brass, the balls may get displaced from their dimples on cold days. That is how the balls of a brass monkey freeze.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Reasearch says there are similar expressions like "talk the tail off a brass monkey" and "hot enough to melt the nose off a brass monkey". Are they related? Your guess is as good as mine.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-68580998231258734902022-11-03T05:15:00.002-07:002022-11-03T05:16:07.049-07:00ROMANCE WITH COFFEE<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Over fifty years back, in India, except for certain pockets, coffee was not as popular as it is today. While in Jabalpur in 1968, on a Sunday, I took my colleagues to the Indian Coffee House in Sadar Bazaar for a cup of coffee, the first cup in their life. After taking a sip, <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>Brijesh Sinha, Nikhil Sarkar, Aaftaab Queraishi and Devendra Sharma cried out in unison, "यह जली हुई चाय लगती है! (This tastes like burnt tea!)". They did not empty their cups. I felt personally insulted at the remark and action. I faintly recall that it took some time before my anger towards them subsided!</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The reason I refer to this episode is that it would give you an idea of my affinity with the beverage. I guess I was justified in being cut to the quick by the affront, having been a coffee person all my life. (Forget that at that point in time, I had still not attained the voting age.)</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The coffee that my mother used to make was by boiling Brooke Bond coffee powder and adding milk and sugar. It was good but nowhere near the filter coffee my friend Prakash Iyer's mother would treat me to during my frequent visits to his house in Cochin. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Believe it or not, coffee won me a prize in a quiz contest hosted by Prof Shantaram Rao of Maharaja's College in Ernakulam. The tiebreaker question was: What did Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord describe as “Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love”? It was for the first time that I was hearing of the controversial clergyman, politician and leading French diplomat before the Revolution. Just one word away from the first prize, I hazarded a guess and shouted out "Coffee!"</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I loved the aroma and the flavour of coffee, but, for decades, my exposure was limited to the coffee that dripped through the two-tiered filter. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My graduation to higher levels of coffee came about only after my retirement. When my brother Ram mohan returned after a stint in Oxford, he brought us a cafetière (also called a French press). Coffee is brewed in the glass carafe and the plunger is used for pushing the powder to the bottom before pouring the coffee into the mugs.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">We did not, however, put it to use much though, because the contraption was large and one HAD to make large quantities. We soon reverted to our old conventional stainless steel decoction-maker. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Then cà phê sữa đá happened!</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It was during our two-month stay in Vietnam where our son Hari was working in the area of coffee procurement for a commodity major that I came to know about the connoisseurs' take on coffee. Cà phê sữa đá (Vietnamese iced coffee) was an instant hit with me. The invigorating brew is made using coarsely-ground robusta beans. The aroma as the hot water seeps through the grains in the single-tier phin filter and drips into the condensed milk at the bottom of the cup forming two layers of colloids! The ice-cubes dropped into the mixture make it so divine I'd give my right hand in exchange!</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Then we were gifted a Bialetti Moka coffee-maker where the direction of the water is reversed. The water boiling in the lower half rises through the coffee powder to the upper compartment, carrying with every molecule of the "poison".</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And with that came a few packets of Vui Coffee (<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1fey0fg" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fvuivui.in%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR3iUQ443nQ-Ax4u-It52Xynb0wth0RNPjj5yMRkVlDRbxMcZb3_a17UT_8&h=AT3hHQTVVacVseRVz3x2r8WXXqr99mHKAhk_MBiGNb0qpI8mfoKttLT7sZcQ8Z3hx-oPQvUKtz8MpxZG2-ye8vT5PVUYFitPfnlWoud1ojVcALXr2vWkJPK6GvPN3f1U&__tn__=-UK-R&c[0]=AT1lZMqHiX8glUM1mtYJPp_77EYiqW_C5VoeE29r37TQ7dBuqRpOCXrpKAxw8gf6Fua-fRgxHNYQKYWWdGq2lx8Pzl_4Mxdwu7BylELUkvlItRVPPrXI33FQHHDR2V859hTsq-MVyoU7lf72bhUB546N5UOiEGgoaYayKwdKdSEWeucZZjPn1g" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://vuivui.in/</a></span>) curated by Amaresh, my son's colleague in Vietnam. In Vietnamese, Vui means ‘happy’ and does Amaresh bring happiness to those who deal with him! His coffee is an experience!</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My son Gautam too is a coffee-buff. He has a coffee-grinder which he uses every time he makes coffee. So the freshness sealed in the beans is unlocked only minutes before the coffee is brewed.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After his visit to Holland, Hari brought us a biggish packet of Douwe Egberts Aroma Rood coffee. The beverage it makes is, well, at the cost of repetition, black as the devil, hot as hell, ... Can a coffee-lover ask for more?</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Edit: I forgot the Kumbakonam Degree Coffee. But then that deserves a separate post!</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-64864842321023509982022-10-24T21:46:00.002-07:002022-10-24T21:46:57.322-07:00AIDE MEMOIRE<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When did I come across the phrase 'aide memoire'? I am not sure.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Perhaps I learnt it at the Alliance Francaise where I had enrolled for a course in French when I was posted in Calcutta during the early days of my career. Or maybe I saw the word printed on the tiny cardboard box containing a corporate gift. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>was a small (6 x 10 cm) leather product which, on one side, had triangular pieces at the four corners to hold slips of paper in, and, on the other, a pocket for the spare slips. Its corners were reinforced with gold-coloured metallic beading and it had a leather loop which accommodated a tiny gold-coloured ballpoint pen.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">As and when you remembered something — an item you want to add to the shopping list or a visit due — you pulled it out of your pocket and scrawled on the slip. It doubled as a place where you could "park" information that you may need in future: the phone number of your pharmacist, the arrival time of a train, a new word you learnt. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">In course of time, the aide memoire was worn out and had to be discarded, but the habit stuck. A small spiral notebook took its place. You were spoilt for choice: exclusive ones in bond paper from Oxford Stationery in Park Street to the inexpensive ones sold by the hawkers in Esplanade or Dalhousie Square.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">In my working days, I used to maintain two such books — one for official matters and the other for personal life. The former would get exhausted six times as fast as the latter, more or less reflecting the proportion of time I spent on the respective spheres of my activity. I would buy a dozen small spiral notebooks and replenish the stocks when they got depleted. On my retirement, the number of notebooks in use at a time was back to one.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One of the side-effects, if I may use the term, of Covid-19 is that replenishment of stocks became a casualty. One went out only if inevitable and returned as soon as the objective of the outing was accomplished "without pottering about in stationery shops" (quoting the strict instructions from the certainly better half).</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So one had to make do with slips of paper made at home by cutting A4 sheets into sixteen equal pieces. The trouble with these chits is that they have this nasty habit of getting misplaced or scattered. They fly off the table, get lodged inside magazines and newspapers, or sometimes simply perform the vanishing act!</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So much so that when you want to add one more item to the one you wrote on, you can't find it. So you make another, and another, and yet another, of course at different times, ad infinitum and end up with several chits. You write the same thing over and over again on several slips — all of which get lost unless they are used as bookmarks. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">These slips are the cause of the intermittent civil wars at home: when I tell my wife that I am unable to locate a particular slip, she complains that she will soon drown in the gadzillion slips floating around. "Use Post-it slips, for heaven's sake! They will at least sit in one place, and not flit about like gadflies in the troposphere," says the significant one. "What's the fun, then?" I respond. In my saner moments, though, I do realise that she has a point: the chits far outnumber the items I have noted on them!</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So you decide you will consolidate them all into one and destroy the others. (Remember WWI being described by HG Wells as "the war to end all wars"? Likewise, my fond hope is that this would be a slip to end all slips.) But you can't do that till you can find them all — at the same time, which is never.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-89530685258334035272022-10-07T00:28:00.000-07:002022-10-07T00:28:42.327-07:00 PERSONAL FINANCE — SOME INTERESTING NUMBERS<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">72, 114 and 144: </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>Doubling of principal: If interest is compounded at quarterly intervals and the rate is r%, it will take approximately 72/r years for the principal to double. For instance, if the rate of interest is 6%, it will take about 12 years; for 9%, it will take about 8 years.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Three times the principal: It will take about 114/r years for the principal to grow three-fold.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(How have these been worked out? Suffice it to know that binomial theorem has been applied.)</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Four times the principal: It will take about 144/r years for the principal to grow four times. [Edit: Given the above rule of 72, nothing earthshaking there, I discover now!]</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">70</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Assuming the rate of inflation to be r%, the purchasing power of your corpus will be reduced to half in approximately 70/r years. (That is, if you do not touch it. If you withdraw, the doomsday is closer.)</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">25</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">If your present annual expenses are x, you need a corpus of 25x so that assuming a return of 6.5% and inflation rate of 8%, my excel sheet says, the entire corpus will be wiped out in less than 22 years. The corpus will stretch for a few more years with a lower inflation rate. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">100 minus age</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The ideal percentage of equity in your financial assets is around 100 — age. As one grows up, the percentage should decline.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">20-50-30 rule</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">While at least 20% of your income should be saved, about 50% can be allocated for your needs and about 30% for wants. The proportion of savings can go up, but not down.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">4</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">You should have an emergency fund of four times your monthly income to cover unforeseen eventualities.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">40</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Your EMIs should not exceed 40% of your gross monthly income after income tax.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">0</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After every credit card bill is paid, the amount due for the previous billing period should always be 0. Ignore the "minimum due" printed on the bill; it is a trap.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-78785569223742638482022-10-07T00:24:00.004-07:002022-10-07T00:24:47.347-07:00 FAMILIARITY BREEDS "COULDN'T-CARE-LESS-NESS"<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I am sitting in the waiting area adjoining an operation theatre where my wife is to undergo a cataract surgery. There are perhaps twenty surgeries scheduled for the forenoon. The patients and the 'bystanders' — in most cases the respective spouses — are all seated on the cushioned sofas. (It beats me why this blessed word — which means a 'mere, passive, onlooker' — is used for referring to someone who is supposed to be at the beck <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>and call of the patient, the doctor, the nurse, the ward boy and the cashier, but let that pass.)</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Presently, a nurse appears and announces the names of four patients — all women. She beckons them to follow her to the theatre. They get up, nod to the respective 'bystander' and proceed.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Ten minutes later, the nurse returns with four identical bags and hands over them to the four 'bystanders' of the patients now in the theatre. "It is the clothes of the patients," she explains. The hospital has thoughtfully provided uniforms to the patients for wearing in the theatre, one presumes.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Thirty minutes of expectation pass. A ward boy comes and asks the next batch of four to await the call. The surgery of the first batch must be over, one guesses.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A little later, the nurse reappears and asks the 'bystander' of Mrs N to identify himself. She asks him to hand over the bag containing the clothes of his wife, which he does. The next four, including my wife, are herded in the direction of the theatre.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Post haste, she returns with the bag and tells Mr N, "There seems to have been a mix-up. Your wife says these are not her clothes."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">She collects back all the four bags, takes them to the gentleman and asks him to identify which of the four is his wife's. She pulls out the clothes one by one and displays them.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One of the bags has a peach-coloured sari, the second a navy blue ikat kameez and a white salwar, the third a mundu-veshti set and the last a black top and ice-blue jeans.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Mr N looks at the garments, fumbles, scratches his head in embarrassment and admits that he cannot identify his wife's clothes! </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The nurse retreats to the theatre with the four bags: the patient would know which is hers.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I ask myself: she could have asked the other three bystanders to identify the clothes of their wives and, through this process of elimination, identify Mrs N's clothes. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Perhaps she was not too strong in the Logical Reasoning department. Or, by then, she had realised that husbands couldn't care less what their wives wore, which seems more likely.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-2658998740086466962022-10-07T00:18:00.004-07:002022-10-07T00:18:29.128-07:00THE CASE FOR (NOT OF) THE ONE-ARMED STENOGRAPHER <p> </p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The other day, while writing a piece reminiscing my childhood, I wrote something like "... Moideen gave him the colour pencil ..." While revising the draft, a question popped up in my mind: should it not be "... Moideen gave the colour pencil to him ..."? </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The more I pondered over the existential question, the more confused I was. So I asked someone who I thought could settle the matter one and for all by pronouncing the <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>semantic verdict.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The expert told me that the problem arises because "to give" is a ditransitive verb: it takes two objects. OutFowlering the redoubtable Fowler, he added that there are five types of verbs: intransitive (Water flowed), monotransitive (The queen knighted him), ditransitive (She gave him the signal), tritransitive (I bet you ten rupees that she will not turn up) and ambitransitive (Usually, he ate — or ate his dinner — before 9 pm).</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Though I was edified far beyond what John Collinson Nesfield or Percival Christopher Wren and his inseparable companion Martin had taught me, and I learnt about these nuances, he did not address my pressing problem.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So I asked him the question (Or, should it be "I asked the question to him"?) again. He said, "Moideen gave him the colour pencil" is as good as "Moideen gave the colour pencil to him" and the writer can chose what he considers better.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">His reply reminded me of a law firm which the bank I had worked for used to consult. Let us call them Mirchandani and Iyengar. Their legal reports running into several pages — and costing several thousands of rupees — would contain references to Acts, Laws, customs and practices and cite case laws from courts in India and abroad and be replete with legal jargon (mens rea, ipso facto, mutatis mutandis, assentio mentium, and the like). They would discuss both sides of the issue at hand in great and intricate detail and conclude with "the bank may take an informed administrative decision in the matter."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My boss used to say after reading these reports that he suspected that there was an understanding between the two partners of the firm: Mirchandani would say one thing and Iyengar the opposite. The stenographer would faithfully take down both opinions. After typing out Mirchandani's view, she would open a new paragraph beginning "On the other hand," and record the opinion of Iyengar. Then she would add "the bank may take an informed administrative decision in the matter", the mandatory caveat. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"How I wish the steno had only one hand!" he would exclaim, suppressing a chuckle.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-34699308326413128282022-10-07T00:16:00.002-07:002022-10-07T00:16:29.723-07:00 THE STORY OF A WHATSAPP GROUP<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was in the early days of WhatsApp that the a few classmates belonging to the batch of 1975 decided to form a WhatsApp group called the Old Boy's Association (OBA). In the first week, there were only six members, but soon word spread and the number swelled to thirty. And then the students of the other divisions were admitted. It was just a matter of weeks that the number crossed two digits. Encouraged, the admin threw open the forum to all the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer;" tabindex="-1"></a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">alumni of the school. They were all strung together by the common thread of the alma mater. </span></span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">By the time I joined the group, it already had more than three hundred members from as far away as the US in the west and Japan in the east, but predictably, the majority was India-based. Members</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">belonged to different generations: while I was from the batch of 1961, I learnt from the profiles that some were decades senior to me and some were as recent as 2019.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">The camaraderie of the members and the good cheer that they spread had to be seen to be believed. One did not mind the fact that one had to earmark a chunk of one's leisure hours to delete the inevitable good morning and good night messages, birthday greetings (though merely a crisp HBD in many cases) and anniversary wishes. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">They shared stories of the pranks they played in and out of the school campus, posted some old group photos and referred to teachers by their nicknames. Many wrote nostalgically about their teenage crushes and rued the fact that they were destined to grow up. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Soon, there was an issue: there was a disconnect when the seniors went through the posts of juniors as they could not even understand the lingo some of them used. Likewise, the juniors could not enjoy the dialogue between two seniors as the topics discussed and the personalities featured had retired long before. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">So the admin found it expedient to form a few subgroups: OBA 1940s, OBA 1950s, OBA 1960s and so on till OBA 2010s, the number denoting the decade in which one left the school. Thus I belong to the OBA 1960s group. Obviously, the OBA 1940s and the OBA 1950s groups were small compared to the others and the 2010s was the largest — and most vibrant. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Inevitably, sooner than later, people got fed up regurgitating old tales and started looking for new stuff. They shared jokes and cartoons, news clippings and forwards, memes and trolls, videos and songs. Though not related to the school days, they were interesting nevertheless. Motivational talks, health-related articles, advice on wealth management too made frequent appearance. The traffic in the group became dense, with devotional songs and talks by religious leaders, patriotic slogans and political pieces becoming regular fare. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Some members opined that as everyone may not be interested in all these, it is not fair to burden EVERYONE with ALL posts. The admins (by then, there was a team of admins instead of one) formed a few new groups dedicated to different areas — OBA Music, OBA Health, OBA Jokes, OBA Religion, OBA Politics, OBA Literature, OBA Wealth, etc. One was free to join multiple groups depending on one's interest, but cross-posts (Homoeopathy posts in, say, OBA Literature, for instance) were a strict no-no. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">But then there was a problem: those who enjoy Semmangudi and Amjad Ali Khan found it difficult to co-exist with fans of Metallica and Pink Floyd. Votaries of vegan food could not stomach the recipes of Mutton Yakni and devilled venison. The puritans among the book-loving community found discussions on some works by certain authors distasteful. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">The admins were up against a wall. The problem that the members were facing was genuine and serious. So the roped in some volunteers from different interest-groups to act as admins of new groups formed for the different segments. At the last count, OBA had 127 groups, some representational names being OBA 1980s, OBA Ghazals, OBA BeeGees, OBA Yunani, OBA Trinamool, OBA Harry Potter, OBA Dark humour, OBA Hrithik Roshan, OBA Bobanum Molleyum, OBA Nihilism, OBA CPM, OBA Bailey's Irish Cream, OBA Tintin, OBA Porn, OBA Theosophy, OBA Harley Davidson, OBA Indore Gharaana, OBA Space Science, OBA UPSC Exams and OBA Kosher food. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">This works! I am a member of only eleven of them which hold my interest.</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-90115443048929647832022-10-07T00:14:00.003-07:002022-10-07T00:14:33.740-07:00MEMORIES TRIGGERED<div style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="" dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="x1iorvi4 x1pi30zi x1l90r2v x1swvt13" data-ad-comet-preview="message" data-ad-preview="message" id="jsc_c_va" style="font-family: inherit; padding: 4px 16px 16px;"><div class="x78zum5 xdt5ytf xz62fqu x16ldp7u" style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: -5px; margin-top: -5px;"><div class="xu06os2 x1ok221b" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto" style="color: var(--primary-text); display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0.9375rem; line-height: 1.3333; max-width: 100%; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word;"><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday my friend Dr Mohan Thomas Abraham and I were playing a game of Scrabble. (Whichever part of the world we may be in, every Monday and Thursday, we play an online game at 6:00 pm!) At some stage in the game, my rack had what I thought was a bingo-friendly combination: AGIINP and a blank. I could make PAI(R)ING but it was a "non-go" (the Scrabble player's jargon for a Bingo on the rack that encounters a no-go on the board. Or PAI(N)ING.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I wished I had <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>an S in place of the second I in which case the possibilities seemed endless: SPA(C)ING, S(C)APING, SPA(R)ING, (R)ASPING, S(H)APING, P(H)ASING, PAS(S)ING, PAS(T)ING. PA(R)SING, SAP(P)ING, (L)APSING, GASPIN(G) — and many more. Buy then, as in life, so in Scrabble. I philosophised: you don't get everything you want.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That was when the word PIGNOLIA flashed in my mind. Not a common word, I agree. Like almonds or cashew nut, this edible nut of a pine tree is used in confections. I could make the word using the floating 'O' of the OVARY on the board. I did exactly that and scored a hefty 78 points.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Now, though I had come across this word in 1957 — that is, a good six decades and a half back — I was using this word for the first time in my life and in my Scrabble journey. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I was in Class VII in the MCCHS (Malabar Christian College High School) in what was then called Calicut. Our class teacher was Mr VM Easow who taught us English and mathematics. The strong foundation he laid in these subjects is what I built upon. Equally, if not more importantly, I cherish the values "Easow-Maash" taught us.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Easow-Maash had an impeccable handwriting, whether he wrote on the blackboard or on paper. A typical foolscap (NOT fullscape, he would repeat) sheet with his writing would have thirty lines — no more, no less — (I can see Easow-Maash frowning that I did not use the correct "no fewer") and no over-writings, no corrections and no ersures.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The last periods on Fridays were allotted to the class teacher. Easow-Maash used it for personal interaction with the students and overall development: elocution, recitation, quiz, etc. On days when the weather permitted, we would venture out: he would take us to the college playground. Though his house was on a plot adjoining the playground, instead of going home at the end of the period, he would walk us back to the class and leave the school only after the long bell goes.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">On one of those Fridays, Easow-Maash took us to the beach. We picked up seashells and pebbles and made sand-pits and sand-castles. Some who had gone to the shaded area of casuarina trees came back with their pockets full of its seeds with spikes. That was when Easow-Maash told us about acorns and pignolia, the seeds of pine trees.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A strict disciplinarian, he always carried a slender cane while in school. After entering the class, he would place carefully place on the table, making sure that everyone saw it. I don't however recall a single instance when Easow-Maash wielded the cane, though! A frown, a stare, an angry glare — and the most recalcitrant brat would cower and submit.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The stern-faced teacher had a impishly humorous facet too. The proverb which goes something like:</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"The greatest oak</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Was once a tiny nut</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That held its ground."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">was paraphrased by Easow-Maash as:</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"The mighty oak</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Was once a little acorn; </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And the tallest yew</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A nut like you!"</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He would tweak the children's rhyme</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Under the spreading chestnut tree</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">There we sit, both you and me.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, how happy we will be!</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Under the spreading chestnut tree." </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">to </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Under the spreading chestnut tree</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I sold you and you sold me.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, how happy we will be!</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Under the spreading chestnut tree."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(Mind you, this was long before horse-trading and resort-politics had acquired the currency and the legitimacy they enjoy today!)</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Tailpiece: Even after placing PIGNOLIA, I lost! </div></div></span></div></div></div></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-83109322663683744622022-10-07T00:11:00.004-07:002022-10-07T00:11:50.433-07:00TRUE TO TYPE<div style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="" dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="x1iorvi4 x1pi30zi x1l90r2v x1swvt13" data-ad-comet-preview="message" data-ad-preview="message" id="jsc_c_rq" style="font-family: inherit; padding: 4px 16px 16px;"><div class="x78zum5 xdt5ytf xz62fqu x16ldp7u" style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: -5px; margin-top: -5px;"><div class="xu06os2 x1ok221b" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto" style="color: var(--primary-text); display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0.9375rem; line-height: 1.3333; max-width: 100%; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word;"><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEigOKWP7NxiDkdJx7pTrkvEXd8le-xPhl1PNll9JLUITR7_nA6bmNhj3HdyZUpocJYvYHHCRmVfwgHZlToLxTAMZL9QEyPmkDGWf4i6EI91DGmya6iui07dWuofMwmq4XZC4oruy4Y1aU3XTlIjYNW62yBBp1ILa6hwwbaZsQYtrPa9PoipNrI" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="694" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEigOKWP7NxiDkdJx7pTrkvEXd8le-xPhl1PNll9JLUITR7_nA6bmNhj3HdyZUpocJYvYHHCRmVfwgHZlToLxTAMZL9QEyPmkDGWf4i6EI91DGmya6iui07dWuofMwmq4XZC4oruy4Y1aU3XTlIjYNW62yBBp1ILa6hwwbaZsQYtrPa9PoipNrI" width="308" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><br />My friend <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1qq9wsj xo1l8bm" href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000413235733&__cft__[0]=AZVJjAg7aGsYPwEDNRr4R-W6gO_hXuH1fvlQPkFZHZmPmb7N_RqravOTBjJO5uNSeGRH_dzUN-zKjhvxX3qZmPDP5fLKqera1E7HZymuwYq_-QTgCxDEi6_Haeu94YcdleqojkLcbf1xt1gNOfeRfi2qXeVaiEUyw4crWQt3gmirfA&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><span class="xt0psk2" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Muhammad Ali</span></a></span> has put up an interesting post on stenography and dictating letters. There he has also narrated the evolution of the machines he used: from his father's old Remington manual typewriter whose keys he punched when he started out, to the feather-touch keyboard of the laptop he uses now. The journey has had several pit-stops where he used different variants: the clunky machine in the neighborhood typewriting institute, Olivetti manual, Brother <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>electric and electronic typewriters, word-processors and now computers with the user-friendly speech-to-text feature.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That is the story of my life too, except that it was an Underwood instead of a Remington. And the typewriting institute bit — I did not attend one because there was none in the village I lived in. That lack of education shows: I still use my right middle finger for all the typing that I do and my left thumb for the "capital shift". I can clock a speed of 30 words per minute and though I cannot boast of a six-sigma level, my output is generally error-free. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">These days I rely a lot on the speech-to-text feature both in English and Malayalam and have attained about 90% accuracy. The problem is that I have to be on the lookout for the gaffes like FACE for PHASE (and vice versa) and "The penis mightier than the sword."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I was in my early twenties when I had my first stenographer (That does sound pompous! He was actually the only one in the department I was attached to and, truth to tell, was shared by the three officers senior to me; I only tagged along!) Shesha Iyer (Swamy to everyone), the epitome of competence in his chosen field, had barely one year to retire. Having been with the organisation for thirty-seven long years, he was a fantastic resource person.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One of my bosses who was not too good at dictation often used to feel the urge to use the services of a stenographer, if only for ramping up his self-esteem. He would call Shesha Iyer, start dictating the letter number, date, addressee, salutation, subject line and after "With reference to your letter number (reading it aloud from the file) dated (again reading it aloud), comma, we have to advise as under, colon."</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After this elaborate introduction, he would look up from the file and sit back in the swivel chair. He would then close the file and hand it over to the amanuensis with the words, "Swamy, you know what I have in mind. Please bring the draft reply." And Swami would do exactly that: an appropriate and correctly-worded reply would be on the boss' table in fewer than thirty minutes.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But I have digressed, for, I wanted to relate my experience with Shesha Iyer. Being a rookie, I would, at times, get stuck for the right word. From the context, he would guess what I had mind and supply me with the right phrase or word. The unsolicited, though welcome, input would interrupt the flow of my thought. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After a couple of such interventions, temporarily abandoning my usual respect for the grey hair and the bald pate, I asked him, "Swamy, are you, or am I, the one dictating the letter?"</div></div></span></div></div></div></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-32243681842736065692022-09-21T22:49:00.000-07:002022-09-21T22:49:08.932-07:00STOREHOUSE OF ABSOLUTELY USELESS INFORMATION<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">STOREHOUSE OF ABSOLUTELY USELESS INFORMATION</span></p><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My friend <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="qi72231t nu7423ey n3hqoq4p r86q59rh b3qcqh3k fq87ekyn bdao358l fsf7x5fv rse6dlih s5oniofx m8h3af8h l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk srn514ro oxkhqvkx rl78xhln nch0832m cr00lzj9 rn8ck1ys s3jn8y49 icdlwmnq cxfqmxzd d1w2l3lo tes86rjd" href="https://www.facebook.com/radhakrishnan.nair.9678?__cft__[0]=AZWzqESdBtfT3fyGmjXdaaPd7nV4C-gS8DY3hIzOmSshSY_ra4J-UvafKC9ZlP77WqOuE-fZCTk3Tp1jJSZQJLopmzRu1T723k2vaYIfXuIEYiaYMYmyQ5o3cNmI3VUtAvVsmaBYbKYQWSmVz5_yplZt&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><span class="rse6dlih" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Radhakrishnan Nair</span></a></span> posted on his wall: How many words can you think of in a minute without the letter 'a'? Clue: I can think of a hundred in a minute. <span class="fxk3tzhb b2rh1bv3 gh55jysx m8h3af8h ewco64xe kjdc1dyq ms56khn7 bq6c9xl4 eohcrkr5 akh3l2rg" style="display: inline-flex; font-family: inherit; height: 16px; margin: 0px 1px; vertical-align: middle; width: 16px;"><img alt="🙂" height="16" referrerpolicy="origin-when-cross-origin" src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t4c/1/16/1f642.png" style="border: 0px;" width="16" /></span></div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He gave the answer soon enough: one to one hundred! Did you know that?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I am <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>sure he was simplifying the question for us. What he did not tell us is that in fact, none of the letters A, B, C and D is present in any of the numbers zero to ninety-nine! </div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And, if one ignores the A in "and" (as in 101), the letter A first comes in 1000. The first B comes in one billion. For the first C, you have to travel as far as octillion (I followed by 27 zeroes!) [We are, of course, not talking about the Indian system of enumeration where crores and lakhs (also spelt lacs) are used.] D first comes in "thousand".</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Of what earthly use is this information? About as useful as the knowledge that the King of Hearts is the only king in a deck of cards without a moustache. Or that the color you'll see when you open your eyes in a pitch-black room is called "eigengrau." Or when you say "I'll be back in a jiffy", you are guilty of extreme exaggeration because a jiffy is one trillionth of a second.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The word "dreamt", apart from "undreamt" derived from it, is the only word ending in MT. And some common words like month, orange, purple and silver have no rhyming words.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Here are some more:</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The opposite sides of a die (used in a game of Ludo or Snakes and Ladders) will always add up to seven.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Golf balls have an average of 336 "dimples."</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Spoonfeed" is the longest word with letters in the reverse alphabetical order.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When words with f followed by i (like define, fight, office, difficult) are printed, the little dot over the i (did you know that it is called tittle?) disappears. Can't believe this? Check the words in this paragraph!</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My brain is a repository of such useless information. Why do I collect and retain them? The answer is what George Mallory gave when he was asked, "Why do you climb the Everest?" He famously replied, "Because it is there."</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-49696589400099284482022-09-21T22:45:00.003-07:002022-09-21T22:45:44.674-07:00 FAMILIARITY BREEDS "COULDN'T-CARE-LESS-NESS"<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">FAMILIARITY BREEDS "COULDN'T-CARE-LESS-NESS"</span></p><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I am sitting in the waiting area adjoining an operation theatre where my wife is to undergo a cataract surgery. There are perhaps twenty surgeries scheduled for the forenoon. The patients and the 'bystanders' — in most cases the respective spouses — are all seated on the cushioned sofas. (It beats me why this blessed word — which means a 'mere, passive, onlooker' — is used for referring to someone who is supposed to be at the beck <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>and call of the patient, the doctor, the nurse, the ward boy and the cashier, but let that pass.)</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Presently, a nurse appears and announces the names of four patients — all women. She beckons them to follow her to the theatre. They get up, nod to the respective 'bystander' and proceed.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Ten minutes later, the nurse returns with four identical bags and hands over them to the four 'bystanders' of the patients now in the theatre. "It is the clothes of the patients," she explains. The hospital has thoughtfully provided uniforms to the patients for wearing in the theatre, one presumes.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Thirty minutes of expectation pass. A ward boy comes and asks the next batch of four to await the call. The surgery of the first batch must be over, one guesses.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A little later, the nurse reappears and asks the 'bystander' of Mrs N to identify himself. She asks him to hand over the bag containing the clothes of his wife, which he does. The next four, including my wife, are herded in the direction of the theatre.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Post haste, she returns with the bag and tells Mr N, "There seems to have been a mix-up. Your wife says these are not her clothes."</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">She collects back all the four bags, takes them to the gentleman and asks him to identify which of the four is his wife's. She pulls out the clothes one by one and displays them.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One of the bags has a peach-coloured sari, the second a navy blue ikat kameez and a white salwar, the third a mundu-veshti set and the last a black top and ice-blue jeans.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Mr N looks at the garments, fumbles, scratches his head in embarrassment and admits that he cannot identify his wife's clothes! </div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The nurse retreats to the theatre with the four bags: the patient would know which is hers.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I ask myself: she could have asked the other three bystanders to identify the clothes of their wives and, through this process of elimination, identify Mrs N's clothes. </div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Perhaps she was not too strong in the Logical Reasoning department. Or, by then, she had realised that husbands couldn't care less what their wives wore, which seems more likely.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-75805650039250416332022-09-21T22:43:00.003-07:002022-09-21T22:43:34.875-07:00 THE CASE FOR (NOT OF) THE ONE-ARMED STENOGRAPHER <p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">THE CASE FOR (NOT OF) THE ONE-ARMED STENOGRAPHER </span></p><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The other day, while writing a piece reminiscing my childhood, I wrote something like "... Moideen gave him the colour pencil ..." While revising the draft, a question popped up in my mind: should it not be "... Moideen gave the colour pencil to him ..."? </div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The more I pondered over the existential question, the more confused I was. So I asked someone who I thought could settle the matter one and for all by pronouncing the semantic verdict.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The expert told me that the problem arises because "to give" is a ditransitive verb: it takes two objects. OutFowlering the redoubtable Fowler, he added that there are five types of verbs: intransitive (Water flowed), monotransitive (The queen knighted him), ditransitive (She gave him the signal), tritransitive (I bet you ten rupees that she will not turn up) and ambitransitive (Usually, he ate — or ate his dinner — before 9 pm).</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Though I was edified far beyond what John Collinson Nesfield or Percival Christopher Wren and his inseparable companion Martin had taught me, and I learnt about these nuances, he did not address my pressing problem.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So I asked him the question (Or, should it be "I asked the question to him"?) again. He said, "Moideen gave him the colour pencil" is as good as "Moideen gave the colour pencil to him" and the writer can chose what he considers better.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">His reply reminded me of a law firm which the bank I had worked for used to consult. Let us call them Mirchandani and Iyengar. Their legal reports running into several pages — and costing several thousands of rupees — would contain references to Acts, Laws, customs and practices and cite case laws from courts in India and abroad and be replete with legal jargon (mens rea, ipso facto, mutatis mutandis, assentio mentium, and the like). They would discuss both sides of the issue at hand in great and intricate detail and conclude with "the bank may take an informed administrative decision in the matter."</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My boss used to say after reading these reports that he suspected that there was an understanding between the two partners of the firm: Mirchandani would say one thing and Iyengar the opposite. The stenographer would faithfully take down both opinions. After typing out Mirchandani's view, she would open a new paragraph beginning "On the other hand," and record the opinion of Iyengar. Then she would add "the bank may take an informed administrative decision in the matter", the mandatory caveat. </div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz n3t5jt4f" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"How I wish the steno had only one hand!" he would exclaim, suppressing a chuckle.</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-43644441543305393622022-06-05T23:20:00.002-07:002022-06-05T23:20:23.038-07:00DIPLOMACY<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">One mid-morning, my boss summoned me to his office. Sitting before him were three others, the oldest in the traditional kurta-pajama and a bandh-gala jacket. The other two were younger men nattily dressed in wrinkle-free shirts, trousers and colour-coordinated ties. One wore a turban too.</span></span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">The boss motioned to me a chair. Thanking him, I sat on it next to the Sardarji.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"Meet Lala Amarnath, my friend for over three decades," the boss said. "When I was posted in ... as branch manager, Lalaji was my most valuable customer. His father was the richest man in the taluk and had the largest land-holding which he had inherited. He is the chairman of the local cooperative sugar mill."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Lalaji shifted his portly frame in the chair, greeted me with folded hands and proceeded to introduce me to the other two. Shamsher Singh Bagga is the Manging Director of the sugar mill and Samir Mittal is the General Manger (Finance).</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">As I shook their hands, the boss told them, "KT is our new Deputy General Manager (Credit). He has come on deputation from State Bank of Travancore where he was handling corporate credit. The youngest DGM in State Bank group, he is an expert in credit appraisal. Your application for switching over from ... Bank is in safe hands."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Turning to me, the boss said, "The mill is now being financed by ... Bank but Lalaji would like to switch over to our bank for better service. For us, it will be a worthwhile proposition because the advance will be self-liquidating in nature. During the four-five months of the sugar season, the loan account would be fully drawn, but in the remaining months, it would show a huge credit balance. Think of the interest on the loan and the interest-free deposits!"</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Meanwhile, Charanjit had come in with a tray of tea and biscuits. After tea and some small talk, the boss asked me to take Bagga and Mittal of the company to my room for discussions and return, while he would spend some time with the Lalaji.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Once in my room, Bagga handed over to me an envelope containing a letter requesting for credit facilities. Mittal opened his briefase and took out a file containing the financial statements for the previous three years. After speaking to me for some time about the company, the two went back to join Lalaji.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">On going through the financial statements, I saw that continuous losses had eroded the entire capital. It was in such a sorry state that no banker in his right senses would touch such a proposal with a barge-pole. </span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">The intercom phone buzzed. At the other end was the boss. Before I could broach the subject of the poor financials, he told me, "KT, that Lalaji is a big crook. Don't sanction that loan. Forget all the good things I said about him in his presence. That was just to please him."</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-47775538145797162662022-06-05T23:15:00.003-07:002022-06-06T06:48:57.332-07:00PROXY<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was the 1950s. Many families in North Malabar were still matrilineal and uncles called the shots. </span></span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Parvati was a middle-aged housewife living a miserable life, her husband having deserted her and their two small children. Though they were entitled to a fair share in the property of the joint family, it was administered by Kunhiraman, her maternal uncle.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">He would collect all the produce (coconut, arecanut, cashew etc) and sell them. Though Parvati and her children were also entitled to it, he would keep all the money. To be fair, I must add that he would supply the victuals to the household.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Parvati had to do all the domestic chores in return for three meals for herself and her children. When she was not in the kitchen breathing in the smoke from the hearth fuelled by firewood and palm fronds, she had to tend to the cows and the chicken coop as well as nurture the kitchen garden. </span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">On certain days, the uncle would announce that there would be guests in the evening. Parvati knew what it meant: she would have to fry chicken to serve as short eats for the guests who would be served raack, the country hooch.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">It was on such days that she would give vent to her ire against the uncle who was the cause of her misery. She would catch a bird from the coup, christen it 'Kunhiraman' and wring its neck.</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-30187731299895633692022-06-05T23:13:00.005-07:002022-06-05T23:22:38.485-07:00PET-NAME<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Sangameswara Iyer was on a short visit to London where his son worked. With no one else for company, he soon started feeling bored.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">So he was glad when, during his morning constitutional one day in the streets of Southall, he sighted a lanky, grey-haired gentleman walking his four dogs. Happy to see a fellow-Indian, Iyer raised his hand and greeted him when they came close, but the stranger ignored it. He must have migrated to England in his teens, Iyer told himself, and must have acquired the local traits: he would not speak unless introduced and spoken to.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Next morning Iyer made bold to stop the stranger and said "Good morning!" which elicited the same greeting, albeit reluctantly, in return.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Though this continued for a week, there was no further progress in communication. Iyer could not bear his solitude any longer. </span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">So the next day, Iyer asked him, "Good morning, are these your dogs?" Obviously a stupid query, in retrospect he realised, when he heard the terse "Yes."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">He decided that the other party being obviously a cynophilist, the best opening gambit would be an enquiry about his pets.</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">He went to the Osterley Bookshop specialising in used books and purchased an illustrated book on dogs. Iyer read up about the different canine breeds, particularly, the varieties the person he wanted to befriend kept.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">The next morning, fortified with the knowledge about the canine species, he enquired, "How old is this St Bernard?"</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Oh boy, that worked! It sparked off a conversation. He replied, "Four."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"And this pug?" </span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"Just past three."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"How about the labrador?"</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"He is the oldest of the lot: eleven."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"And this white terrier?"</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"Seven."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"What do you call them?"</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"Satvinder Singh, Gurmeet Singh, Devinder Singh and Harjeet Singh."</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Having established diplomatic ties, Iyer introduced himself, "I am Sangameswara Iyer from Tiruchendur in Tamil Nadu. Pleased to meet you. What is your name?"</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"Tommy."</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-23413015513229913382022-01-11T21:42:00.002-08:002022-01-11T21:42:37.145-08:00GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELPS THEMSELVES<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">Countless is the number of meetings I have attended in my career spanning over three decades. Before every meeting, the secretarial staff place a pencil before my name plate on conference table. When I see a pencil, I MUST have it. I do not know if you will brand me a klepto, but I confess: one thing that I cannot stop myself from is acquiring – beg, borrow or steal I will – pencils.</span></span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">So, at the end of every meeting, I invariably take the pencil and put it into my pocket. I do not feel guilty about it because I know that the pencil is meant for me.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Likewise, I am not, for once, smitten by the pangs of conscience when I recall after checking out of a hotel room that I could not resist the temptation to ‘steal’ the pencil they keep next to the scribbling pads on the bedside table, the writing table and the toilet. (Why one in the smallest room, I have always wondered. Maybe the brightest of ideas spring forth in the loo, as good old Archimedes demonstrated in the third century BC.)</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I have my collection of Parkers and Sheaffers, Crosses and Watermans, DuPonts and Mont Blanc Meisterstucks, oodles of them, but I love pencils. Why pencils, you may ask. That is a million-dollar question.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Coming to think of it, it is not just the pencil that catches my fancy. I like those scribbling pads too. I jot down ideas or thoughts that flash in my brain, in the scribbling pad which doubles as my organizer. I want to use these ideas later . I always have a scribbling pad nearby, to note down phone numbers or messages, or a list of things to do the next day. This pad is where I arrange my daily life.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I am not partial to these items: I love the entire range of hotel stationery – letter paper and envelopes. I like to impress my mother by sending a letter in the thick manila envelope containing a missive written on the letter paper of a five star luxury hotel.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">How can I forget toiletry – shampoo and hair conditioner, moisturiser and talcum powder, soap and disposable razor which I help myself to? I do not lay my hands, however, on napkins, bath towels or bath robes. Some hotels pin a notice on the bathrobe exhorting the guest to contact the front office if he (or she) would like to ‘buy’ the bathrobe. Clever guys, aren’t they? Ditto with the luxury leather folio in which the letter paper and envelopes are placed.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">As long as they do not attach such labels on pencils, stationery and toiletries, my inner voice won’t hold me back!</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-53217347121010299202022-01-11T21:40:00.000-08:002022-01-11T21:40:21.420-08:00A SEA-FACING ROOM FOR THE BOSS<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mr Niyogi loved the good things in life – rich food, fine clothes, a game of golf, and the like (which implies a lot). Whenever he visited Bombay (It was in the 1970's, not Mumbai yet), the epicurean wanted to stay at the five-star Taj. And he wanted a sea-facing room which had premium rates.</span></span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">According to his service conditions, he was not entitled to a room of that category or hotel, but he would ask Mr Borker, the Manager of the local branch, to arrange a room of his choice. Mr Borker could not afford to incur the wrath of the boss. If he did not oblige the boss, he would find himself posted in Cochin or Calcutta, Hyderabad or Ahmedabad. A transfer from Bombay was the last thing he wanted. So he somehow obliged the boss by accommodating this requirement. </span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I do not know how Mr Borker met the difference between the bill and the amount the boss was entitled to, but that is not one of our concerns for the present. Let us assume that it was by some sleight of hand which I am not privy to, but the fact is that Mr Borker kept the boss happy.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Mr Borker was at his wit’s end when the boss announced a visit at short notice. It was a Wednesday and boss was arriving on Friday. The test match was on and the Aussies and the English team were in town. The hotel was booked. Not a room to spare even in the neighbouring Hotel Diplomat, leave alone the upmarket Taj.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">With no choice left, Mr Borker booked him in another hotel, I think, The Classic or The Paradise Hotel, beside the Diplomat. He persuaded the reservation clerk to earmark a sea-facing room for the boss.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Come Friday, Mr Borker felt jittery as he received the boss in the airport. During the small talk, he brought up the topic of the Test match and prepared the boss for his stay in a hotel other than The Taj. The boss was not too pleased and made no secret of his displeasure.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">‘But sir, it is a sea-facing room,’ Mr Borker tried to assuage the hurt.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Once inside the hotel, he followed the boss who followed the bellboy who led the way, hauling the luggage. The room was on the third floor.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">After the bellboy left, the boss growled at Mr Borker, ‘Where is the sea, Mr Borker?’</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Whereupon Mr Borker opened the door to the toilet, climbed on to the throne, and, twisting his neck at an awkward angle, peered through the gap between the leaves of the exhaust fan. Craning his neck further, he spotted a small patch of blue, and with a sense of victory, he announced, ‘There, Sir, the sea is there!’</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-76080128311552588412022-01-11T21:34:00.006-08:002022-01-13T07:50:04.208-08:00SARTORIAL PROPRIETY<p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was undergoing Head Office training </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">– </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">the last lap of the induction of a Probationary Officer into the Bank. As many would testify, this is the best part of one's life </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">– </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;"> no grappling with the ledgers and books, no balancing to do, no responsibility, no accountability. All you have to do is to thumb through the files maintained in the different departments and learn what you can about procedure and correspondence. </span></span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Thus it was that I chanced upon a file with the label 'Surprise Inspection Reports of One-man Branches'. For the uninitiated, establishment of one-man branch was an experiment that banks toyed with in the days of Social Control (pre-Nationalisation). Set up in unbanked areas, these branches would undertake limited transactions – deposits and small loans. To keep the overheads low, it was decided that there would be no joint custodian for the cash and valuables. The officer-in-charge himself would handle cash and the gold pledged as security.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">This arrangement made it necessary to have more frequent inspections of these units because the credo of bankers is ‘Trust, but verify’. Free from the fetters of joint custodianship, the officer-in-charge could play with Bank’s cash and land both in trouble. Therefore surprise inspections were prescribed. It was also stipulated that not more than a fortnight should elapse between two inspections.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I went through many such reports. The verification had exposed nothing untoward on the official front, but a sentence in one of the reports cried out aloud for attention: ‘The officer-in-charge is advised to be properly attired while in the branch during non-banking hours.’</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I was intrigued. </span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I located the signatory of the report. He was a middle level officer then (a few years senior to me). I button-holed him and asked him the circumstances in which the comment was made.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">“It was a one-man branch located in a suburban coastal village. Looks like my boss has forgotten that a surprise inspection was due because the fortnight was ending that day. It suddenly dawned on him that if inspection was not done on that day, there would be violation of the stipulation of fortnightly inspections.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">“So he called me in the afternoon, assigned me the task of surprise verification and asked me to rush to the branch.</span></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">“It was past banking hours when he reached the branch. That was the time the officer-in-charge was to write up the accounts for the day. "When I went in, he was seated in his chair, legs resting on the table, wearing a thin towel around his midriff and anointing himself liberally with balaaguluchyaadi oil."</span></div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-81581173160877729622022-01-04T04:10:00.000-08:002022-01-04T04:10:36.406-08:00 "TRUST ME, I'M, LIKE, A SMART PERSON"<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">"TRUST ME, I'M, LIKE, A SMART PERSON"</span></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">You don't have to be an Einstein to guess who spouted the above words: Donald Trump, that paragon of sagacity. "The trouble is that in the modern world, the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt," said Bertrand Russell.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">***</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Ailments can prove to be blessings in disguise, at least sometimes. Being confined to the bed for over a week helped me catch up with some reading. One of the books I read was an incredibly slim (96 pages including the title page, foreword, publisher's note, introduction, blank pages between chapters, a few charts and all that.) I guess it can be compressed into all of eight A4 sheets, 12 point Times New Roman, double space. In fact, the 9-chapter affair is a short essay.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Titled "The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity", it has been written by Italian economic historian Carlo M Cipolla (1922-2000) and translated into four languages, clocking half a million copies. This Fullbright fellow and Professor of University of California postulates a moral definition of stupidity: a stupid person is one who harms others without procuring any gain for himself.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">In his foreword, the redoubtable Nissim Nicholas Taleb (author of Black Swan, Fooled by Randomness, etc) describes the work as a 'masterly book'. He says that the book starts like a satire and then swings between the serious and the satire; he adds, thoughtfully, 'because economics is boring (by design) and this is fun, playful to read'. That sums up what the book is like.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">According to Cipolla, though the actions of the stupid person would not benefit him in any way, they can cause a lot of damage though they have no interest in the survival of the system. (Methinks one could replace 'though' with 'because'!)</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">***</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Rather than dwell more on the book, I will reproduce the whole of Chapter VII on the third of the five laws he enunciates. </div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"It is not difficult to understand how social, political and institutional power enhances the damaging potential of a stupid person. But one still has to explain and understand what essentially it is that makes a stupid person dangerous to other people – in other words what constitutes the power of stupidity. .</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Essentially stupid people are dangerous and damaging because reasonable people find it difficult to imagine and understand unreasonable behaviour. An intelligent person may understand the logic of a bandit. The bandit's actions follow a pattern of rationality: nasty rationality, if you like, but still rationality. The bandit wants a plus on his account. Since he is not intelligent enough to devise ways of obtaining the plus as well as providing you with a plus, he will produce his plus by causing a minus to appear on your account, All this is bad, but it is rational and if you are rational you can predict it. You can foresee a bandit's actions, his nasty manoeuvres and ugly aspirations and often can build up your defences.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">With a stupid person all this is absolutely impossible as explained by the Third Basic Law. A stupid creature will harass you for no reason, for no advantage, without any plan or scheme and at the most improbable times and places. You have no rational way of telling if and when and how and why the stupid creature attacks. When confronted with a stupid individual you are completely at his mercy.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Because the stupid person's actions do not conform to the rules of rationality, it follows that:</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">a) one is generally caught by surprise by the attack;</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">b) even when one becomes aware of the attack, one cannot organise a rational defence, because the attack itself lacks any rational structure.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The fact that the activity and movements of a stupid creature are absolutely erratic and irrational not only makes defence problematic but it also makes any counterattack extremely difficult - like trying to shoot at an object which is capable of the most improbable and unimaginable movements. This is what both Dickens and Schiller had in mind when the former stated that with stupidity and sound digestion man may front much' and the latter wrote that against stupidity the very Gods fight in vain."</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">***</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Haven't we came across such persons in the history, day-to-day life, workplace and politics whose decisions harass people for no reason, for no advantage to them, without any plan or scheme and at the most improbable times and places?</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Three such instances spring to my mind. How about you?</div></div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29606715.post-81605666122544695962022-01-04T03:41:00.006-08:002022-01-04T03:58:37.698-08:00PORTMANTEAU<div>(A rehash of a piece I had written for a column for children)</div><div><br /></div>What is common to the words smog, brunch, fantabulous and mizzle? They are all portmanteau words. The French word "portmanteau" means a travelling bag or a large suitcase with two compartments. Can you guess why these are called portmanteau words? They mash together the sounds and meanings of two diverse words.<div><br /></div><div>These words often result from the need to have just the right word to describe something. Those who have lived in north India would have seen the fog in wintry evenings blending with the smoke from the coal-fired <i>chulha</i>s. That is smog, a combination of the words 'smoke' and 'fog'. Even so, a midmorning meal served after breakfast time but before the lunch hour is called brunch (breakfast + lunch). Now, you know why portmanteau words go by that name. Sometimes, the best way to convey an idea contained in two words is to combine them into one! </div><div><br /></div><div>Some portmanteau words paint vivid mental pictures, such as mizzle. This word, first used by Jane Austen in her novel Emma, is a combination of the words mist and drizzle. It is a perfect word to describe very fine rain. So perfect that when you chance upon the word, you can almost feel the weather condition that is being described! Mizzle is indeed a fantabulous (fantastic + fabulous = marvellously good) word! </div><div><br /></div><div>It is not always that the word coined follows the same order as its constituents. Take, for instance, the word infomercial (a lengthy commercial chock-full of product information). You might not find several of the portmanteau words in the dictionary because some are almost nonsensical. Also, many have only recently become familiar. Others, like mizzle and dramedy (drama and comedy) make perfect sense but are used only in some regions. </div><div><br /></div><div>Many portmanteau words are labelled as "slang", but many, like smog (smoke + fog), guestimate (guess + estimate), infotainment (information + entertainment) and chortle (chuckle + snort) are accepted. Several brand names like the card game Pictionary (Pictures + Dictionary) are portmanteaux.
If you are a Lewis Carroll fan, you will have encountered many portmanteau words. In fact, he is widely accepted as the person who gave the name 'portmanteau' to these blends. </div><div><br /></div><div>While many portmanteau words can be "figured out", some of them really challenge one's imagination. How would you decipher the Carroll word "slithy"?
How do you make a portmanteau word? Let us hear the master. In The Hunting of the Shark, Carroll says, "Take the two words fuming and furious. Make up your mind that you will say both words, but leave it undecided which you will say first. Now open your mouth and speak. If your thoughts incline ever so little towards fuming, you will say fuming-furious; if they turn, even by a hair's breadth, towards furious, you will say furious-fuming; but if you have that rarest of gifts, a perfectly balanced mind, you'll say frumious." </div><div><br /></div><div>Why not try making up your own portmanteau words? Is there some thought you've been trying to express that's really two thoughts in one? Are there two words that just seem to flow together well? Be serious, silly or totally off the wall. But most of all, be creative.</div>wannabewodehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13203391268297565393noreply@blogger.com1